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It’s time once again to reflect on all our accomplishments over the past year! Why? Because the calendar tells us we should, even though time is purely a construct of our minds and doesn’t actually exist! Except when you’re trapped in a mall parking lot with a carload of whining kids searching for that last parking spot so you can buy Aunt Helen the Duck Dynasty Chia Pet at 50% off.
Now let’s get to the bragging!
This year has been filled to the Pepto-Bismol brim with earth-shattering family events! Darla woke up one morning to find a giant crease down the side of her face from sleeping on her pillow’s seam, only to realize a week later it was still there. Because it was a wrinkle. Yes! A hearty congrats to her for continuing her steady decline in both looks and brainpower!
Life is like a box of sad wisps…
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